This is a legit question; unfortunately it’s also a trap you put on yourself. By asking yourself this question, you put a lot of stress on yourself because you automatically tell your mind that you’re not “normal.”
I do consider my Trans experience as a medical issue, but it doesn’t make me an “abnormal” man. I’m a man, have always been whether the world has seen it or not, and i’m just now able to align myself physically with whom I’ve always been. After taking the steps to “fix” your medical condition, you shouldn’t wear the baggage of not belonging in this world anymore.
First, consider yourself a man with a condition that you’ve overcome.
Just like a man with diabetes wouldn’t walk around feeling sorry for himself and telling the whole world about it, you should be comfortable enough with yourself in knowing that this is only a part of you. Your identity or humanity is not defined by it. A lot of people make the mistake of holding on too much to their Trans identity, which is fine if you’re comfortable with it and comfortable with only dating women who only date Transmen, but if you want to find someone who is truly compatible to you as a person, and not just the parts you were born with, you have to accept your manliness.
Secondly, put yourself in the woman’s shoes.
If she has no idea that you’re Trans, and if she’s straight, she has no idea that you’re struggling internally to even tell her your situation. If she finds you attractive, she only sees what she’s attracted to. Don’t ruin it by being insecure about your manliness. Be confident that you have features and qualities that she’s genuinely attracted to.
Thirdly and lastly, know that every man in the world has the same nervousness and challenges about dating as you do.
Dating anxiousness is not just a Transman thing! Focus on improving your overall charisma and personality; your Trans status will be dealt with when the time is right. First she has to be comfortable with you, trust you and feel secure around you. Then she has to be attracted to you whether it’s because of your sense of humor, your good looks, or your personality in general. And only then she has to deal with your history. That’s up to her to deal with and it doesn’t matter what you do or say; if she’s not open minded, if she’s scared, or if she’s transphobic, the issue here is not you, it’s her! Deal with it and move on just like every other man does, until you find the one who is not going to let you off the hook!
P.S. I want to hear your opinion… leave a comment below!
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