I’m not a dating expert, but I know enough to write about it!


One of the most talked about topics in the FTM community is, of course, dating. If we’re not talking about testosterone and how to maximize it or surgeries, usually we’re talking about dating or sex. Part of it is because how sex drive (mostly) dramatically increases when we start hormone replacement therapy.

It’s only fitting then, that there should be a dating section added to the site. Topics will include sex, dating, relationships, attraction, when to reveal your trans status to your date, etc.

If you have any question or ideas that you’d like to see an article about, feel free to e-mail us.

What makes me an expert in dating?

I don’t have a PhD in dating and relationships, I haven’t done any specific training on the topic where I got a certificate or anything like that. So what qualifies me for this position?

Before I answer this question, I’m going to make a disclaimer: most of the articles I’ll be writing will be geared towards transmen who date women (trans identified or not). You can probably apply them to your own experience or your own sexual orientation, but I make this disclaimer because it will be natural for me to give examples about women based on my own experience.

Honestly, to me dating has always been common sense and attracting women has always been natural. I don’t say it to brag but I have always been able to get the woman I want and my bio/natal male friends and trans friends can attest to that. I am not going to lie and say that I’ve always understood women or that I do now; many people (especially those who aren’t trans) assume that because we were socialized as women, we understand women better. Most of us do have a masculine brain and spirit and always have. But honestly, there are a lot of things about masculinity that women are attracted to whether you understand them or not. But it helps to understand them in order to use them to your advantage!

When I realized that a lot of my friends would always ask me advice on attracting women or dating in general, I started to wonder why so many men made the mistakes they did with women. It wasn’t always easy to explain why the advice I gave made sense to me and not to them; so I started reading and studying a lot of dating books and programs. To be honest, 95% of what’s out there is either common sense or totally ridiculous information just to make a sale.

Even though I attracted many women, I was still very picky on who I became “too close” to and who I chose to keep in my life for a long time. And that’s why I’ve only been in two serious relationships in my entire life. One that lasted almost 5 years, and one that is still going on as I’m writing this. Does it qualify me as a relationship expert? Expert is a strong word, but yes and no. I haven’t had many long-term relationships experience but I do know what I want in a woman in a very specific way and I do know how to get the woman of my dreams (I have her now already). When I realized exactly what I wanted in a woman that would be worth spending the rest of my days with, I made a list of her characteristics, then, instead of “looking for her”, I worked on myself to become the man that such a woman would want in her life. Makes sense? I’ll explain more in future dating articles.

In the meantime, I hope you’ve read enough to make you come back and get more information. If you want to keep up to date on coming up articles, bookmark the site by clicking on the RSS feed button.

To your success!